Thinking of My Dad

I'm sitting in front of a fire with a Shih Tsu at my feet, drinking coffee and thinking about my father.

My father died Friday morning after a six-year fight with AML (the really bad type of leukemia that you can't cure). Dad gave the disease a good fight, living much longer than most people who get it. Most of the time, even when he was in the middle of one of his many treatments, he didn't look like a man with a life-threatening illness. In fact, he played golf two days before the infection that finally killed him sent him to the hospital.

I'm going to miss him terribly, although right now I've got great comfort in being in his home with his dogs and his things all around me (although the sight of his golf clubs in the trunk of his car where he'd left them, with his JayHawk driver cover that he loved so much, kind of undid me).

Today I have to write an obituary for the funeral home. There is so much to say about this wonderful man, I don't really know how to begin. He was smart, and kind, and very funny. He was deaf as a doornail, which often made conversing with him hard. He had a way of summarizing a point with extreme clarity. He was a gifted public speaker. He had a sense of adventure, always willing to try new experiences. He was making jokes up until the day he died.

One of the the things I loved most was how he completely accepted and loved his family. Truly the only thing he wanted for us was happiness. He didn't care what we choose to do with our lives as long as that choice made us happy. That kind of acceptance is hard to find. When I met my husband two years ago, Dad didn't care what Rick did for a living, where he was from, whether he went to college...he only cared that Rick adored me and made me happy. Everything else was gravy. I wish Rick had had time to know my father better.

The sadness is going to come and go, but he lives on in all of us. I see him in my nephew Jake and in my brothers. But nothing is like the real thing, and Dad is going to be missed.

Dad was a big supporter of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. If you know someone with this disease, make a donation today.